Emulate Jesus Christ -- Post 13: Seven Rules for a Happy Marriage

by John Rix...

Enjoy this enlightening post by guest blogger John Rix, my husband of 56 years. He exemplifies the qualities of Jesus Christ more than anyone I know. As an expert in being a good husband, his suggestions are invaluable. He shares seven rules for a happy marriage.

(1) Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.

• If she wants the toilet seat down, put it down. It takes .737 seconds.

• If he wants you to squeeze the toothpaste from the end, not the middle, do it.

• On the other hand, if he leaves the toilet seat up, just put it down. It takes .737 seconds. If the toothpaste isn’t the way you like it, ask yourself, “Is this worth being unhappy over?”

• You might have other idiotic eccentricities — I mean idiosyncrasies — but don’t sweat the small stuff!

(2) Agree on a Financial Plan.

The two things that are most likely to cause trouble are the small stuff and money. So have a plan. Judy and I have a simple one.

• We live the law of consecration. Everything belongs to both of us. We have a joint bank account, a joint savings account, a joint credit card. We both spend money on what we want, and we are both careful not to spend what we don’t have, or at least what we won’t have when the bill comes due. If it’s a large amount we talk about it and agree on whether or not to do it. My rule of thumb is that if it costs less than a tank of gas, there’s no need for a family council and no need to pray about it. But come up with your own agreement. And don’t be afraid to change the agreement if you need to. But agree.

• She’ll probably want to spend money on stuff you think isn’t important. He will too. But if it’s stuff that makes her happy or him happy, let it happen! Don’t you want your partner to be happy?

(3) Establish a House of Order.

• Help each other with those mundane chores. Make the bed together. Clean up the dishes. Wipe down the sink after you shave. Put away your toothbrush. Hang up the towels.

• If you've been to the temple, you saw how God wants his house kept. Make your house the kind of place He wants to live in, and He just might drop in more often. Establish a house of glory.

(4) Be Kind and Polite to Each Other.

• Don’t make fun or tease each other. If you stomp on someone’s foot and say “Just kidding,” it still hurts. And it still hurts if you stomp on someone’s feelings, even if you're "just kidding."

• Say “please” and “thank you.” We all need to know we’re appreciated.

• When you leave, kiss each other goodbye and say, “I love you.”

• Hug each other and say, “I love you” when you get home. We all need to know we can come home to someone who loves us.

(5) Establish a House of Prayer, a House of Faith.

• Pray together.

• Read the scriptures together. Then do what they tell you to do.

• Love your spouse. “Greater love hath no man than this—That he lay down hs life for his friends." (John 15:13). Live your life for your best friend.

(6) Be the First to Say, “I’m Sorry, and I Love You.”

• If she beats you to it, say, “I’m sorry too, and I love you too.”

• If you’re not really sorry, you probably should be. So say it anyway. “He that forgives not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord, for there remaineth in him the greater sin.”

• Choose to be happy. What makes you happy? Is it being angry and resentful and sulky?

Or is it being kind and loving and forgiving?

(7) In Summary, It’s Pretty Simple: Do What You Can to Make Your Partner Happy.

• It’s not your job to “fix” her or to mold him into what you think he should be. It’s your job to mold yourself into what God thinks you should be. If you do that, how can he/she help but love you?

• Love is a verb. That implies action. That implies work and effort. Just do it. Do what it takes to make each other happy.

• It’s what you do that matters. It’s not what your partner does.

• JUST BE NICE TO EACH OTHER.

Love was the greatest attribute of Jesus Christ. We can emulate this most important trait by treating our spouse with love and kindness.

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Go to the Source -- What Do the Scriptures and Respected Teachers Say?

"Love and care for your wife. Become one with her. Be her partner. Make it easy for her to want to be yours. No other interest in life should take priority over building an eternal relationship with her."

Russell M. Nelson, "We Can Do Better and Be Better" April 2019 General Conference

Alan J. Hawkins, PhD, "Achieving Oneness in Marriage," March 2020

"Just as two pillars in an arch lean in and fuse together at the apex to create greater strength, a woman and man, truly committed and united to one another, become stronger together than they could ever be apart."

D&C 42:22

“Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.”

D&C 38:27

“I say unto you, be one. If ye are not one, ye are not mine.”

Russell M. Nelson, "Nurturing Marriage," General Conference April 2006.

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